New DSSer: Giff Head

How to Be Giff Head

Hey DSSers,

As I said, the constraints of a “real” job are beginning to weigh on me, so we’ve brought aboard another contributor.

Let me introduce you to Richard’s brother, Giff.

Take it away, Giff….

Hey losers,

Just wanted to say hi to you pathetic bunch of whiners.

Boo-hooo….a Copy Editor said something mean to you? Suck it up, douchebag! Maybe it’s not the Copy Editor. Maybe your writing sucks, ever thought of that? Quit being a big baby and grow a pair.

Anyways, I’ve been with DS even longer than Richard and Patrick put together. Those two couldn’t write a How To article if I took a Faber Number Two pencil, shoved it up their ass, had it come out their nose and the only article in their queue was “How To Write a How To Article With a Faber Number Two Pencil Shoved Up Your Ass and Out Through Your Nose”. Dumbasses.

Now listen up, being a big time writer with Demand has gotten me a lot of tail. And I ain’t just talking about those Break Studios skanks. I’m talking wang dang sweet Suite101 poontang. Aaah yeah.

Believe me, I’ve been doing a lot of “revenue share” over there if you get my drift.

So, Richard and Patrick had me come over here to help you out. And help you out, I will, if you will just shut the F**K  (ed.) up for two seconds.

First tip: Quit f**ing whining and write some shitty articles.

I’ll be seeing you, losers.

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