Recent Comments


 

 

 

Archives

 

eHow I Love Rachael Ray

How to Prepare Rachael Ray

You whiners think I care what you have to say? Get serious! Strike that. Go get bent! All of you!!!

Patrick and Richard are off, doing whatever it is they do when they’re not here listening to you whine. Huge mistake leaving me to mind the blog. You wonder why my last paen to the lovely Rachael Ray has been sitting up there for weeks?

’cause the old Giffer doesn’t give a monkey’s tit about whether you’re getting regular updates from the DSS. You losers really think I care why you come here — or don’t? Not on your life, suckers. Just keep whinging …

I’ll keep leering down Rachael Ray’s shirt at her breasts and scouring the Interwebs for her ass. This “Last Free Man” character has the right idea. Bring on the Double-R 34B.

I foolishly promised Patrick and my brother that I’d scribble up at least one blog entry this week, and here it is Friday. You might say I’ve been laying down on the job . . . while spanking the monkey to Rachael Ray’s Neighborhood on eHow.

Those eHow neighborhood videos are downright Oscar-worthy compared to this over-produced promo gashiness they’ve thrown up on the YouTube. What stoned monkey thought this video was a good idea? They won’t let you watch it in-line. If you do click over, don’t say I didn’t warn you that it royally sucks, and not in any good way. It just plain sucks.


[youtube PzG4GPZ3GL4]

9 comments to eHow I Love Rachael Ray

  • Johnny

    And this is why I haven’t visited the DSS home page in two months.

  • Dynamite!

    What worries me is that, with all the celebrities that Demand Media is getting on board, work for freelancers may start to dwindle. I mean, if people had a choice between learning cooking secrets from RR as opposed to a freelancer, wouldn’t they choose RR? This might be why the amount, and variety of article choices for freelance writers are less than they have been. Just a thought.

    • eh...

      Except that none of the celebrities who co-brand this shite are actually writing it. Tyra, RR, Lance, etc., they’re just slapping their name on the header of the website, DM still needs monkeys working behind the scenes.

      For instance, eHow bread and butter (or so they think) is articles like “How to Pour Milk in a Glass” and “How to Make Pork out of Chicken Heads.” Do you really think Rachael Ray is going to write that?

      • Dynamite!

        I never thought about that. Yes, they do need low-wage grunts to write the articles that bring in the revenue, while the big names get the attention and the big bucks. That’s similar to the labor in developing countries making $0.05 a day, while the big name celebrity makes millions off the label he/she represents. Glory to laissez faire capitalism! DM emulates it in spades.

  • Joe

    If you’re going to go for humor on this site can you at least get someone who has a sense of humor to write these posts? This sort of half-assed attempt at the funny just gives me that uncomfortable “I’m embarrassed for you” feeling.

  • When the hell did RR get such a nice ass? Nice pic. Too bad Demand Studios will turn Rachel Ray’s empire into a steaming pile of shit.

    Oh, and someone please kill Gilligan. That is all.

  • The Batman

    Worst. Promo. Ever.

Leave a Reply

You can use these HTML tags

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>