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Demandstudiossucks.com • View topic - The Fiction about Fiction

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The Fiction about Fiction

Just like the title says!

The Fiction about Fiction

Postby FuckingHostile » Tue Apr 05, 2011 7:41 pm

If you wanted to be a novelist, would you rather be a critically acclaimed but poor and struggling writer, hoping someone will make a movie out of your book that will star Maggie Gyllenhaal...

Or, would you rather be a Stephenie Myer, churning out simplistic romantic garbage that the tweens and old ladies eat up, making millions of dollars but embarrassed to have anyone you know actually read your work?
"Many a fool has sought to oppose my diabolical will, only to find out later that they probably shouldn't have tried to do that." --Cthulhu
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Re: The Fiction about Fiction

Postby Natch » Tue Apr 05, 2011 8:04 pm

I think I'd whip up my Twilight in a week, then use my earnings to fund a proper writing career.
"It's a naive domestic Burgundy without any breeding, but I think you'll be amused by its presumption."
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Re: The Fiction about Fiction

Postby queenoffckall » Tue Apr 05, 2011 8:06 pm

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Re: The Fiction about Fiction

Postby FuckingHostile » Tue Apr 05, 2011 8:55 pm

That's the dilemma. You write Twilight and make a shit ton of money, and then you have the resources and the time to try to write something "good" but no one will take you seriously.

I'm starting to form a plot in my head. About a young, misunderstood girl who is adorably clueless and can't decide between the handsome, dangerous rogue or the kind, easygoing boy next door. I just have to decide which boy will be a Yeti and which boy will be a C.H.U.D.

OH, and I need to sort out whether she'll be blonde or brunette, and what color her eyes are so that when she gazes into the C.H.U.D.'s glowing, iridescent, blind, ravenous orbs, I won't fall short of adjectives.

I think I'll name her Lily Emma Madeleine Isabella Rosacea Frostbite (but everyone will call her Frosty, because she hates her name, for realz).

Back to the topic at hand, personally, I'd just take the money and write more airport crap and make more money. I'd James Patterson the hell out of that cow. In college a lot of the people in the English department were trying so hard to write relevant, harrowing dramas. I started to feel bad about wanting to write commercial fiction.

I can say that now that I've written for DMS, nothing should embarrass me, but a small part of me would always feel just a bit bad about how "real" authors viewed me. I wonder if Stephenie Myer hopes that A.S. Byatt will read Breaking Dawn and send her fan mail.
"Many a fool has sought to oppose my diabolical will, only to find out later that they probably shouldn't have tried to do that." --Cthulhu
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Re: The Fiction about Fiction

Postby queenoffckall » Tue Apr 05, 2011 9:27 pm

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Re: The Fiction about Fiction

Postby FuckingHostile » Tue Apr 05, 2011 10:08 pm

"Many a fool has sought to oppose my diabolical will, only to find out later that they probably shouldn't have tried to do that." --Cthulhu
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Re: The Fiction about Fiction

Postby queenoffckall » Tue Apr 05, 2011 10:21 pm

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Re: The Fiction about Fiction

Postby FuckingHostile » Tue Apr 05, 2011 10:32 pm

I've tried to read James Patterson. I felt a familiar craw-tingling and stopped. Dreck has that effect on me. Thank you for the aloe, but it doesn't really do anything to lessen the impact of seeing an entire bookcase in the fiction section at Barnes & Noble dedicated to his work simply because of volume. Same goes for Janet Evanovich, Danielle Steele, David Baldacci, Clive Cussler and CHARLAINE FUCKING HARRIS, who should just STOP WRITING BOOKS. Speaking of terrible writing and assloads of money. My god. Those stupid Sookie Stackhouse books have some of the worst, most sophomoric writing I've ever laid eyes on, and I have a lot of eyes.

It's good to know Neil is doing alright, but I did meet a girl at the dog park the other day who didn't know who he is. That blows my mind.
"Many a fool has sought to oppose my diabolical will, only to find out later that they probably shouldn't have tried to do that." --Cthulhu
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Re: The Fiction about Fiction

Postby queenoffckall » Tue Apr 05, 2011 11:26 pm

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Re: The Fiction about Fiction

Postby Natch » Wed Apr 06, 2011 6:56 am

I agree that Stephen King is a great writer. And he said that Stephenie Meyer "can't write worth a darn," so he knows how to recognize crap, too.
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