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The CE Blacklist

How to Dress Like a Demand CE

Hi there DSSers,

January 2014 has come and is just about gone, so we’ve at least got that out of the way.

This was an interesting letter that showed up in the DSS mailbox and thought I’d run it by the crew (or what’s left of you out there).

Hey Patrick,

Demand Studios is about to go. You know it, I know it, the stockholders know it. The only people who don’t seem to know it are the clueless Zombs in the forums and CEs. Why are they still being dicks when editing articles? NOBODY CARES HOW WELL RESEARCHED THESE THINGS […]

The Beginning of the End?

How to Play The End

This just appeared in the DSS mailbox.

As with everything else, take it with a grain of salt.

Anyone want to report on how those queues are doing? And apparently Demand writing staff are still holding writer webinars?

Message Body: Demand laid off it’s entire branded sales team which closes NYC and Chicago offices.

So think AE,AM, Directors, VP, mark dev, ad ops, finance and others.

This mail is sent via contact form on http://www.demandstudiossucks.com

Stop Making Census

How to Play at CBGBs

Howdy DSSers –

How’s 2014 shaping up for you? Not so good for DS, at least in the new articles department. Apparently they just lost Global Post as a provider, so the thin article pools are about to get even thinner.

Richard is currently out enjoying a bit of success away from DSS and we can only wish him the best of luck. Perhaps he’ll grace us with a guest post one day.

Got this letter in the DSS mailbox. Was too good not to publish.

Dear Demand Media Shareholders,

Remember that Super-Duper, Super-Secret algorithm we used to entice you to buy hundreds […]

Now You Can See Who’s Not Reading Your Articles!

How to Change Your Mind at the Last Minute and Put Up a Picture of Mewbacca Instead

Hey DSSers!

Demand Studios not only returned from their brief hiatus, but they also introduced a brand spanking new tool – Demand Anal-tics.

This handy dandy tool will let you see exactly how many people AREN’T reading your crappy articles on eHow and all those other craptastic Demand sites.

Although Demand has returned, this doesn’t mean that they’re even better.

We’re getting word now that some of the queues have dropped down into the double digits. Ouch.

How about you?

What are your queues looking like?

 

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They’re Back!

How to Cover Your Failing Business

In all fairness, just as promised Demand Studios was back online this week.

From all reports, it looks like everything is back to normal, except that some of the queues are dipping perilously close to triple digits.

From one of the forum regulars:

It is good to be back, and good to know that DMS really did return to us. I just hope that titles start appearing, because right now the queue looks as abysmal as it did right before the shutdown. I know nobody was working though, so I realize that the titles will likely take a few days to go […]

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